Sometimes when I don’t feel creative I write anyway. While I’m doing it, in the un-creative state, I really don’t find myself producing anything of any worth or interest. But, most of the time when this happens and I look on it the next day it holds some meaning for me.
Not that what I wrote above has anything interesting to offer the mind, and yes I am in one of those places right now where I don’t feel particularly creative. I will write anyway.
It has been over a week since I’ve written anything at all so it’s just plain time to let my fingers start pounding at the keys until something comes up.
I have had some serious thoughts lately. I’ve been thinking about making a documentary film based around drummers. It’s not as simple as that, but that’s me being un-creative in my expression right now.
I have also come to a place in writing my own story where I’m stalling for some reason. I don’t know why. Sometimes I just sit and think and there is so much to say I don’t know where to start. And other times I just write anyway and let the chronology work itself out in editing.
I have come to a place within myself where I want to be a spiritual being. I struggle with my addiction and I’m getting stronger all the time. One thing that is going to really give me strength to kick is being able to pour my energy and creativity into my work, and I’ll be rewarded for it, I’ll feel a sense of accomplishment and I’ll be able to hold my head up and be happy with the things I’m doing. I won’t have that urge to soothe my soul with chemicals because I’ll have some real achievement doing it for me.
I have recently come back in contact with a long lost business partner who is very talented and who, together with me, brings an unstoppable reputation to our particular industry. He is recognized as the best of the best at what he does in this field. We have an opportunity to leverage our reputations together and make another go of a business venture. It’s a risk we are seriously brainstorming right now. We would need funding, but with the right business plan, vision, mission statement and drive we would take the industry by storm.
I would really like to get some kind of funding and make this documentary I have rolling around in my head, pestering the hell out of me. I already see it as if it’s been made.
A friend told me today, “you dream big, you talk big and you f**k up big”. I took that as a major compliment, because that is indeed what I do. And I succeed big too.
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