Sometimes when I don’t feel creative I write anyway.  While I’m doing it, in the un-creative state, I really don’t find myself producing anything of any worth or interest.  But, most of the time when this happens and I look on it the next day it holds some meaning for me.

Not that what I wrote above has anything interesting to offer the mind, and yes I am in one of those places right now where I don’t feel particularly creative.  I will write anyway.

It has been over a week since I’ve written anything at all so it’s just plain time to let my fingers start pounding at the keys until something comes up.

I have had some serious thoughts lately.  I’ve been thinking about making a documentary film based around drummers.  It’s not as simple as that, but that’s me being un-creative in my expression right now.

I have also come to a place in writing my own story where I’m stalling for some reason.  I don’t know why.  Sometimes I just sit and think and there is so much to say I don’t know where to start.  And other times I just write anyway and let the chronology work itself out in editing.

I have come to a place within myself where I want to be a spiritual being.  I struggle with my addiction and I’m getting stronger all the time.  One thing that is going to really give me strength to kick is being able to pour my energy and creativity into my work, and I’ll be rewarded for it, I’ll feel a sense of accomplishment and I’ll be able to hold my head up and be happy with the things I’m doing.  I won’t have that urge to soothe my soul with chemicals because I’ll have some real achievement doing it for me.

I have recently come back in contact with a long lost business partner who is very talented and who, together with me, brings an unstoppable reputation to our particular industry.  He is recognized as the best of the best at what he does in this field.  We have an opportunity to leverage our reputations together and make another go of a business venture.  It’s a risk we are seriously brainstorming right now.  We would need funding, but with the right business plan, vision, mission statement and drive we would take the industry by storm.

I would really like to get some kind of funding and make this documentary I have rolling around in my head, pestering the hell out of me.  I already see it as if it’s been made.

A friend told me today, “you dream big, you talk big and you f**k up big”.  I took that as a major compliment, because that is indeed what I do.  And I succeed big too.

Matt Foley: Alright, how’s everybody? Good! Good! Good! Now, as your father probably told you, my name is Matt Foley, and I am a Motivational Speaker! Now, let’s get started by me giving you a little bit of a scenario of what my life is all about! First off, I am 35 years old.. I am divorced.. and I live in a van down by the river! Now, you kids are probably saying to yourself, “Now, I’m gonna go out, and I’m gonna get the world by the tail, and wrap it around and put it in my pocket!!” Well, I’m here to tell you that you’re probably gonna find out, as you go out there, that you’re not gonna amount to Jack Squat!!” You’re gonna end up eating a steady diet of government cheese, and living in a van down by the river! Now, young man, what do you want to do with your life?

Brian: I.. actually, Matt.. I kinda wanna be a writer..

Matt Foley: We-e-e-elll.. la-de-freakin’-da! We’ve got ourselves a writer here! Hey, Dad, I can’t see real good…is that Bill Shakespeare over there?

This is about the response I got from some of my most trusted friends when I told them I wanted to be a writer, publish a book and create a screenplay based on my life.  I’m here to tell you and old Matt Foley that those naysayers are full of it!

I’ve done a lot in my life, I’ve made a lot of mistakes and I’ve surprised people with things I’ve set my mind to.  If a movie has been made and a book has been published then I can surely do it and so can you or anyone else.

The truth is that I’m 43, I am divorced, I have six kids, I’m unemployed and I live in a corner bedroom at my mother’s house.  That’s actually true, but it is temporary.  I have recently been laid off from a six figure executive position and lost all of my savings, my car and got a DUI after allowing all of this downturn to overcome me.  Now I am digging myself out of this hole and moving myself back into the fast lane and into first place in my life.

So far, what have I learned through this process?  I have learned that there are as many different opinions as there are stars in the sky, and the only opinions that are correct are the ones I believe.

My successes and my failures are out there for me to choose and make come true.  They are both waiting for me; as in nature, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, so in life there is opposition in all things.  For me to choose failure would mean there is a success that was missed.  For me to choose success means there was a failure missed.

So, my failures and my successes already exist, they are just waiting for me to realize one or the other.  And something incredibly important to remember in all of this is; if I have any sort of failure, my success is still out there for me to achieve, so quitting is never an option.

Now go out, get the world by the tail, and wrap it around and put it in your pocket!